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I am lying in bed with my feet up, struggling to write in this awkward position, but determined to overcome a bout of runner’s knee so that I can continue training for the Pride 5k I’m doing with my nibling at the end of the month. I only just started running again earlier this month, in preparation for this event, and am concerned about how much more difficult it’s become after a of couple years—well, not exactly.
Sure, I’m currently sore in ways that I’ve never been before… But, I’ve also never had the endurance, consistency, and determination that I have in the past week and a half either. It has me wondering, am I starting to feel the effects of aging, or did I just go too hard too fast?
Seeing the Progress Despite the Pitfalls
Truthfully, I have been pleasantly surprised with my stamina so far. I have never been a runner, despite having tried to become one at several different points throughout my life. I’ve come up against either my own lack of consistency, or more often, some personal health struggles that have made the voluntary stress of intense cardio cause cortisol crises in my body. Still, I’ve also always wanted to find a way to train in this way because I’d really like to complete (at least) a sprint triathlon in my lifetime.
In the past few years, by extending my endurance for voluntary stress through slowly gaining distance and adding weight to multiple daily walks, I’ve been focusing on building a consistent routine for gentle cardio. It’s been good. It’s been steady. It’s been progressive. Yet, it must have been lacking in excitement because, as soon as I realized that I could run better than I ever have before—well, let’s just say I didn’t consider the added strain on my joints.
Life is funny that way. We often learn so much from our challenges, only to find out that we’ve still got blind spots and oversights when we make a breakthrough. Still, I can’t help but feel grateful. No, I’m not happy that I’m in pain or that I can’t yet train the way I want to, but I’m noticing that my first instinct now is to find a way rather than give it up.
Finding the Opportunities Within the Obstacles
I’m researching solutions instead of focusing on problems. I was pushing through the pain (until I learned that’s not going to help me fix the problem) and now I’m looking into strengthening exercises and stretches rather than just calling it quits. I’m finding ways I can support my joints, from the inside and out, and not feeling sorry for myself. For all those reasons, even if I have to walk the entire 5k at the end of the month, I still feel like I’m finally going to become a runner this season—heck, even what ales me has ‘runner’ in the name!
So here I am, elevating my knees after a long walk, applying hot and cold as I write this, and thinking about how this entire experience is echoing what I’ve been learning about wants and needs lately. I’m finding that these concepts, so commonly thought of as separate motivations, can actually be much more intertwined than we imagine them to be. For example: I want to be a runner, but I need to get stronger… So, I am addressing the need in order to enable the want.
It’s common for people to find themselves in either one camp or the other. More conservative thinkers will focus on their needs, favoring frugal and practical choices over exciting and inspiring ones. Then there are the more liberal minds that choose to focus on ideals and pursue their dreams no matter what, sometimes even at the expense of themselves or others. Yet, I can’t help but think: maybe it doesn’t have to be either extreme.
Focusing on Balance for Optimal Fulfillment
Perhaps the true purpose of wanting is to motivate us to meet our needs, and needs themselves can be what enables us to achieve our desires. This middle way definitely doesn’t seem as safe as the conservative route, nor as whimsical as throwing caution to the wind—but, it’s balanced. It’s got the potential for a holistic, full-spectrum approach to motivation and achievement, and I dare say it can apply to a lot more than running too.
Today we have a Sagittarius Full Moon, and we’re just 10 days from the summer solstice here in the northern hemisphere too, so lots of things are being illuminated right now. This is especially true regarding themes of belief, self vs ‘others,’ and the very concept of what it means to be foreign. It’s no surprise that we’re seeing protests on behalf of human rights all across the US, anti-immigration riots in Ireland, and Russia firing off missiles—just to name a few. The world is at war with itself, and humans are the instigators.
However, even though these luminary crescendos have a tendency to shine light on what’s otherwise hidden—aka the shadows/lower frequency manifestations—it’s important for us to keep in mind that there’s another end to the spectrum, and a whole lot of middle ground too. Specifically speaking to the Sagittarian themes, that would look like philosophical considerations, higher learning, and exploring the unknown for the purposes of discovery rather than domination.
Looking for Common Ground Amidst Unrest
Finding myself affronted by the global unrest today—and so many other days—I can’t help but wonder: Where are the opportunities? How instead might our universal wants motivate our global needs, and those needs serve our collective desires?
It’s a privilege to be able to ask that, I know. So many are fighting to survive right now, on both ends of the spectrum. If it’s not for their lives, it’s for their beliefs, and those are precarious situations to be in for human minds that are looking for safety and surity. Yet, I’m still here, at some distance from it all, bound to my own perspective too.
It’s not my place to speak for everyone, but I do believe that peace is an innate human desire. On the one hand, some believe we need control and force in order to ensure it, and on the other, some feel that the only way it can be truly acquired is through equality and freedom. What I want to know is, can we find a way to utilize security to further liberty? Or are we really doomed to have to choose just one at the expense of the other?
I know what I believe. I’m not giving up on peace, or security. Maybe that’s a precarious line to walk, but I’m learning how to do that anyway. Just like not giving up on running, even if that means I can’t run until the pain subsides, I have to hope that we don’t have to give up on world peace—even if that means we have to confront and be confronted by unrest for awhile.
Daring to Ground Dreams in Messy Reality
What happens if we can remember what we all really want, and then go about meeting the needs that could make that happen? What if we can step back from the reactivity long enough to recognize that we’re all imperfect human beings, trying to make sense of a multidimensional and metaphysical existence, and that the choices of others we so easily condemn as ‘evil’ are actually coming from the same place of fear as our condemnation? What happens when we all realize that the only true ‘other’ or foreign influence is that which we refuse to let ourselves explore with curiosity and compassion?
I sincerely believe that we can answer these profound philosophical and humanitarian questions, and more, if we let ourselves. So, here I am, walking my middle path and looking like a fool to the masses as they congregate on one side or the other… But let me tell you: it’s a whole lot less volatile at this intersection, no matter how many of us decide to gather here.
I hope we can learn to work together, that we can migrate to common ground, and that the unrest is serving to indicate where we need to do better—because we all deserve the true peace we’re desiring for ourselves, and so does everyone else.
