A significant portion of this piece was written after a brief journey to stay with the Huni Kuin in the Amazon rainforest in May 2023; it contains actual accounts of plant medicine experiences and subsequent integration processes. All edits and updates have been made by the original author.
At the start of the year [2023], I had no plans to travel internationally. I figured I might go on a few short trips out of state to visit some friends here or there, but that was it.
Working on remodeling a house, trying to start a new business, and an ever-growing list of creative projects looming, I truly intended to remain focused on the matters at hand. I love exploring foreign vistas more than words can express, but there are times when being on one’s home turf is most advantageous. Or so I thought.
Despite all of these justifications, I opened a video to see the twin Huni Kuin Pajés speaking in an indecipherable language. They stood in traditional, handcrafted adornments; in front of a giant, painted tree trunk; in the middle of remote Amazonia – and I simply knew. My heart was already there.
Flowing into a Miraculous Unfolding
As has often been the case, I wasn’t sure how I would make it happen. Still, my intuition filled me with an overwhelming sense of assumption that it was all going to work out.
Months quickly turned to weeks; before I knew it, everything had been taken care of and all that was left was figuring out how to travel abroad for more than 2 weeks with only a personal item for luggage. Somehow, I soon found myself doing just that too.
It took four different flights, sprinting through an unfamiliar airport to make my connection after the first was delayed, an 8 hour minibus ride over roads that scrambled our insides, and a boat ride up the river – but I made it to Txana Huya. Joining my friend and a small group of others that came from the U.K., we were briefly welcomed by our translator and the chief before we began a short trek into the rainforest – to the heart of the village.
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My eyes were wide and my heart was completely open. I could feel my excitement brimming as the sound of drumming started to rumble through the trees. As we came out of the dense foliage, the Huni Kuin women stood atop the hill at the edge of the clearing, chanting and dancing in their ceremonial garb.
One by one, just as we reached the top of the hill and could finally see the village, we were each taken hold of by two of the women. They danced beside us, singing and guiding us into the traditional movements. We followed one after another in a winding pattern around and around, then finally into the sacred maloca. Once inside, we continued dancing in a serpentine pattern throughout the sacred structure, until the dancing and chanting culminated in joyful cheers.
Expanding Beyond a Dream
To be honest, most of those 10 days are a blur. Even as I was eagerly submerged in the experiences, I had to pause to write in my journal every day or two – I knew the saturation and depth wouldn’t be easily contained by memory alone.
It was a dream come true. The Amazon rainforest had been a source of wonder and fascination since my childhood; I could hardly believe I was actually there. Throughout the expedition, my heart remained as full and assured as it had been from the moment I saw the shamans in that video. This immense appreciation would allow me to maintain my wonder and excitement, even through the most challenging and difficult times.
The tribe generously shared their culture with us, including their sacred medicines. In the short week and a half we were with them, we partook of Ayahuasca six times, Kambo once, and received a traditional Txana baptism.
Four of the Ayahuasca ceremonies took place overnight, and after the long trek to get to the remote locale, we foreigners felt the effects of those sleepless and purgative nights intensely. Coming from the U.S., I had the distinct benefit of avoiding jet lag, so I can only imagine the extreme exhaustion my European friends endured. Still, despite the exhaustion, illnesses, and shadows that arose, I remained enthralled and devoured each moment as best I could. At several different times I would pause and say, either to myself or to others in my group, “… I’m/We’re in the Amazon!”
Rooted in Sacred Humanity
It was a marvel to see the indigenous move seamlessly between the ceremonies and village life. At one point, a group of women told me they hadn’t slept in three days. They all smiled with beaming faces, laughing about how their children wouldn’t let them rest if they had the time anyway.
Most of them were around my age, in their 30’s, and were proud to have 3 to 6 children each. They were concerned for me, being unmarried and without any kids, but they were all very kind and curious too.
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As I continued to build relationships through precarious cross-cultural conversations, I learned more about their polygamous customs, and shared that I was both divorced and barren. These respectively strange facts weren’t easy for any of us to understand, but we all did our best to remain open-minded. I began to feel a strong bond with many of them, completely overcome with gratitude for their generosity and grace.
I learned so much during my short time with the Huni Kuin, there wasn’t a single day that passed without significance. Even now, almost 2 months later [July 2023], I am actively reflecting and integrating it all as perhaps some of the most significant experiences of my entire life. Regardless, I’m taking my time and honoring the process.
Integrating with Compassion
For the past 8 weeks, since returning home [May 2023], I have been writing and reflecting on this journey. I have every intention of sharing everything, I feel I must – but also felt there needed to be some sort of introduction to all of the stories to come too. So, I guess – this is an attempt at that…
My experiences in the Amazon were nothing short of magickal, to the extent that I am still unsure how to interpret many of them. This adventure came after several years of working with paganism, divination, yoga, meditation, philosophy, neuro-reprogramming, energy work, and other sacred medicine experiences, all of which I underwent in order to heal trauma and overcome the consequences of living reactively and inauthentically for much of my life. However, this journey was the first ceremonial initiation I underwent after making a choice to “be healed,” and I’m having to adapt everything to this entirely new consciousness framework as I try to make sense of it too.
I am incredibly humbled and encouraged as I reflect on the experiences I had [and continue to be], as well as awestruck each time something new shifts within me due to the compounding revelations and progressive integration of it all [also still ongoing]. I am expanding in both my patience and excitement as I witness the beginning of changes in my life that are certain to ripple out indefinitely into every aspect of my existence [and have been].
It is with this sense of awe, astonishment, gratitude, curiosity, and naivety that I am formally inviting anyone who wishes to explore the ancient mysteries of the Amazon rainforest and its beautiful Huni Kuin people to share in these experiences with me. Anticipate more of my forthcoming [and ongoing], messy but inspired integration process. I imagine if I wait to be “ready” or understand it all, the time may never come [which is proving accurate a year after originally writing this].
Continuing the Journey: an Epilogue
It’s been about a year since I originally penned these thoughts, and though I had every intention of sharing them sooner, my integration process required more of my attention than I had anticipated. The last 13 or so months have been nothing short of transformative, but not so much in the exciting, cross-culture initiation sort of way.
I’ve been home. I’ve been quiet. Yet, I’ve been more focused, productive, and spiritually activated than at any other time in my life – and that’s coming from a lifelong student of the Divine.
A year ago, I had a vision to bring attention to the vibrant culture and enchanting magick I found in the Amazon – but I quickly got hung up on my own imperfections and insecurities. They had been holding me back for far longer than the vision had been spurring me forward, so it took some time for me to address these phantom limitations.
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I’ve found myself undergoing profound, energetic clearings; co-creating a portal spell with the Universe [which transpired over the course of an entire eclipse season, from October 2023 through to April 2024]; dedicating myself to daily meditation, which alone has facilitated countless downloads, upgrades, and alignments; all while leveling up my professional offerings, renovating my home, and faithfully working on my novel series again. I’ve had my head down, continually pushing through the highs and lows of my own duality, to find myself at an entirely different vantage point now.
It is with sincere honor and great pleasure that I finally share this story and the others to come. I’m not certain that I’ll ever be finished integrating these experiences, but I now know that process is as much a gift as it is a responsibility – and that discovery is something I cannot keep to myself any longer. Regardless of my continual refinement, I am letting myself be ready to offer these gifts up for everyone, for truly, they have always been intended for so much more than my own inspiration. Blessed be, beloveds!
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