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I am sitting beneath three heavy blankets in bed, listening to the birds just outside, on the island of Amantani in the middle of Lake Titicaca, Perú. It’s our final cultural immersion day of an epic pilgrimage throughout the country that took us through Lima, Cusco, Machu Picchu, the Sacred Valley, and finally this region: the legendary birthplace of the Sun and Moon, which is also considered the modern sacral chakra of Earth. Our journey has asked a lot of our bodies, minds, and hearts… But in return, we’ve received so much more than we could have ever anticipated.
Speaking only for myself, I wasn’t entirely sure what I was being called towards when I received the message from Spirit that I would be yet again traveling to foreign vistas to do strange medicines and have unforgettable experiences with strangers. Yet, after years of practicing such wild trust, there was no hesitation in my commitment. I am so grateful that I took the leap.
Sabbat Activity Booklet
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From initial travel cancellations and delays, to serving the group through Reiki and divination all along the way, as well as powerful sacred medicine experiences that provided the most thorough physical, emotional, and spiritual cleansing and renewal of my entire current life… This experience has been incredibly challenging, empowering, and nourishing. And now, as we prepare to return to our “normal” lives, I’m embracing these quiet moments of pre-integration with absolute tenderness and appreciation.
Bringing Closure to an Epic Year
For me, Samhain this coming weekend represents the magickal new year. As the close of the harvest, and one of the year’s most liminal times, it beckons the kind of reflection that allows for the future to be built with more wisdom and authenticity… If we dare to be so intentional. As someone with a lot of retrograde energy in my own natal chart, this type of reconsideration/review energy feels natural to me, so perhaps that’s why I never hesitate to take advantage.
Now, as I prepare for my own 38-hour return travel journey from this Peruvian island to my Rocky Mountain home, it seems I will have a lot of opportunities for recollection… And already at just the start, I am absolutely stunned by what has transpired in just a year’s time.
Personally, after a powerful commitment to release control for the sake of leadership that I made during Lion’s Gate last year, that fall was spent decompressing and surrendering a lot of patterns that didn’t align with that intention. Little did I know, I was making room to receive the Cycles In Harmony cosmology in the coming winter months… Let alone that by spring it would turn into the Onescent Dial app. Yet, that was still only the start of one of the most magickal and transformative years of my life thus far.
Integrating All the New
Before summer even started, I would also be signed up to return to college this fall, start dating someone after 4 years of mindful singleness, and be planning to both host a spiritual Summer Solstice retreat in Chaco Canyon as well as offer support on this pilgrimage through Peru… I also found myself completing more home renovations, 100x my organic website traffic through SEO, and beginning to write my second novel…
To be honest, despite living it all myself, I’m still not sure how I managed it! Yet, despite the extreme professional productivity and acceleration of personal experiences, everything I have applied myself to this year has felt increasingly easy, natural, and enjoyable. To explain this, something that came up in a tarot reading I did yesterday springs to mind: “when we are living in alignment, we can experience even difficult or overwhelming things with more acceptance, ease, and joy.”
Truly, this year didn’t start with my commitment to leadership last summer… Even that was just another step along the path of authenticity that began for me nearly a decade ago. After almost 30 years of my life being chaotic, opportunistic, and fueled by my unhealed traumas, that choice to get real with myself (accepting it all; the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly) ultimately helped me set the course for the peace, alignment, and passion-driven existence I am appreciating now.
Embracing the Next Phase
So, as I contemplate all the progress that’s been made in my life and my work, I can’t help but feel curious, excited, and optimistic. I know that when I return home I’ll be getting back into the work flows and routines that I have already optimized, as well as making my new novel my top creative priority. I anticipate another cozy, Colorado winter in my little mountain cottage, surrounded by my cuddly familiars… Yet, there’s also so much to come that I simply can’t imagine at this time too.
What will happen in the new relationship I’ve started nurturing? How will I continue to grow my business and increase the value of my offerings? What will I be learning in my next university courses? Will I finally complete ALL of the needed renovations in my home (including my long-awaited home gym lol)?
Honestly, I probably won’t know the answers to those questions until this time next year… And that’s perfectly fine with me. It’s not that I am not curious; I have simply learned how to enjoy the process of my life’s unfolding… Because I trust that all of the discoveries that await me on this path of authentic alignment will be ones I can learn from, appreciate, and cherish forever.
Handling Myself Tenderly
I feel like I should mention that, even an aligned path isn’t necessarily all sunshine and rainbows. Truly, this new relationship has been incredibly triggering, and creating space for someone else’s influence in my already overflowing life isn’t necessarily a simple process either. My recent plant medicine experiences are going to require a lot of integration, and I find myself embarking on my travel home with gastrointestinal distress that’s sure to make things… Well, more interesting to say the least lol!
I’m also still doing everything for my business and household all on my own, and at times, it gets overwhelming to think about. I’m not as far along in my second novel as I had hoped I’d be by this time, and I am still committed to showing up to support my family and friends whenever possible too… Honestly, my tender humanness feels fragile in the face of the expansive and powerful life I’ve been building for myself.
But, I am learning to let that be okay too.
Just like I don’t need to have all the answers yet, I am also releasing any need for things to seem/be “doable” from the limited perspective I have available to me right now. After all, we don’t plan our lives into existence, we have to live them into being. So, I am giving myself grace, taking brakes when I need them, and reminding my hyper-vigilant mind that everything is okay whenever it starts to shift into protective or avoidant overdrive.
Accepting the Past and the Future
Here, at yet another threshold of change and progress, I am grateful to find that I don’t actually need things to be simple in order to let myself be open and willing. I can look back, over all of the accomplishments and disappointments alike, and celebrate how far I have come… Even without creating more pressure on myself in the chapters that are still to come.
I can also look ahead, get excited about the plans I have and the mysteries that will eventually become new knowledge, all without abandoning the long road and many lessons that have gotten me this far. I can be nervous and courageous. I can be tender and strong. I can be wholly passionate about my goals and still make adjustments to my trajectory as needed…
Sabbat Activity Booklet
Get your free copy of this printable PDF, designed to help you explore any of the Pagan Sabbats!
Because, if this path of authenticity and intention have taught me anything, it’s that I don’t need to make myself or my experiences less in order to also become and behold more. I’ve learned to embrace everything as a gift, even if that’s in the form of a challenging opportunity, and that’s perhaps my greatest superpower. So yes, no matter what this next year holds, I already know that I will be blessed and inspired by it. I sincerely hope that you all experience your own Samhain thresholds with the same grace and appreciation too!
Blessed be,
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